Following the Noise — and Finding My Way Back
Lately, I’ve been feeling a deep pull to return to the basics.
Not in a dramatic, burn-it-all-down way — but in a quiet, intentional one. Clearing my home of things that once brought joy but no longer fit. Simplifying my routines. Streamlining how I move through my days. Letting go of what feels heavy so there’s room for what feels true.
That same pull has been showing up in my business.
When I first began photographing boudoir in 2011, my brand was called Sexy Beautiful Me. It wasn’t created from a marketing strategy or a trend forecast — it was born from a belief. A belief that women deserved to see themselves differently. Not filtered. Not perfected. Just seen. Confident. Enough. Exactly as they were.
Over the years, the industry changed. Social media changed. Algorithms changed. And in 2022, after being shadowbanned on Google and across social platforms, I found myself in survival mode. Trying to protect the business I had poured my heart into, I made the difficult decision to rebrand as Dark Moon Boudoir.
At the time, it felt necessary. Protective. Strategic.
In December 2023, another turning point arrived. The building where my studio was located was sold to new owners, and rather than starting over in a new space, I chose to step away. I closed the studio and made the intentional decision to retire. It wasn’t a moment of defeat — it was a moment of listening. I allowed myself to pause, to rest, and to create space away from the constant demand to produce, pivot, or perform.
When I eventually felt the pull to return, I did so quietly and with intention. I chose the name Shades of Grain, with the vision of slowing everything down and photographing exclusively on film. It felt artistic, minimal, and contemplative. And in many ways, it was exactly what I needed in that moment.
But even then, something tugged at me.
Because here’s the truth I’ve come to understand:
I don’t need to reinvent what was never broken.
I don’t need to hide behind aesthetics or concepts.
I don’t need to complicate what has always been simple.
The same pull guiding me to simplify my home and my life was guiding me back to the heart of my work. And the heart of this work has always lived inside Sexy Beautiful Me.
To be sure, I asked the women who know this experience best — my clients. I ran a poll among those who’ve trusted me with their stories, their vulnerability, their bodies. And 91% voted to revive the original name.
That was all the confirmation I needed.
Sometimes growth isn’t about becoming something new.
Sometimes it’s about remembering who you were before the noise.
I followed the noise.
Then I followed myself back.
This work has always been about one thing — women stepping into their own power. If you’re ready to experience Sexy Beautiful Me for yourself, inquiries are now open. Your story deserves to be seen. Click here to contact me.
